Vampire Whorehouses are Scary!

So Candice and I went off to investigate the Nibble and Whore - and let me just say I hope I NEVER have to enter that place again!

For starters, red and black is SO overdone in that place. Ditto lace and chains. {sigh} Of course Leticia the Lash doesn't seem to think so. And I wasn't about to argue about it since she had a paddle that could slap the word 'slut' into my forehead quicker than it took me to write it.

Secondly, the 'establishment' is run by, not only my neighbour, but another vampire who goes by the name of Camilla LeFanu. Now you all probably remember how much she likes me (damn lesbian vampires!) so a visit with her is always akin to kiss chasey that involves a shark and a seal.

So Camilla insists that she has never had a hobbit walk through her doors, but in the same breath, she had commented on my Facebook page that hobbits taste like dirt and old feet. And so did Jackson.

Jackson Compton (no relation to Bill, by the way) is an old friend of mine that I have recently become reacquainted with. We went to high school together. I think him and Candice have a 'thing' for each other, not that I can prove anything. But since he has come back into my life, I get the feeling that he is hiding something from us all. Some horrible BIG thing.

I just hope it isn't the fact that he is a hobbit killing blood sucker...

A Trip to the Nibble and Whore

I can't believe I am about to leave with Candice to visit a vampire brothel *eeeww* In fact Candice is looking over my shoulder as I type trying to hurry me up.

So how did I end up having to visit a place like the Nibble and Whore, I hear you ask?

Well it has to do with a hobbit, and certain hole in the ground in which I found him - Mr Berrywinkle, to be exact. By now you would think that i had learned to leave sleeping dogs lie. Well - guess again! I went poking around in that damn hole again and this time I didn't find a body - I found a business card.

Now I know the Nibble and Whore exists. In fact it is right next door to my house. My neighbour was killed accidentally not that long ago. Well, killed is a bit of an exaggeration...turned is probably the better term. Yes, Mrs Sally Picken-Butt was turned into a vampire.

And who know that she would turn out to be such a good vampire madam? Certainly not me. And not her dead husband either. Frank (her hubby) is now officially a ghost, and since he knows that I can see dead people, he has taken to spending a lot of time at my place. Time that he spends bitching about his now vampire wife. Man I am SOOOOOOOO glad I have an off switch for spirits.

But, now I have gotten off track. And Candice is is my ear telling me to finish up so we can get a move on. Guess I'll have something to report tomorrow....

PS: Sam Von Strike has been delayed in returning to Australia also. Dunno where he is off to now that he has left Bermuda - he isn't allowed to tell me. Boy I miss him {sigh}